


Privado de Afecto

by Adeadlymusician



Series: Rare Pair Heaven [4]
Category: Persona 5
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst with a Happy Ending, Demisexual Ryuji, During Canon, Electric Puns, Established Akira/Ryuji, Fluff and Angst, Gen, Happy Birthday Akechi Goro, Insecure Akira, Insecure Goro, M/M, No Sex, Non-Sexual Intimacy, Non-Sexual Touching, Overuse of ellipsis, Phantom Thieves as Family, Polyamory, Polyamory Negotiations, Protagonist is called Akira, Purple Prose, Ryuji sees Goro more often because of Akira, Sorry Not Sorry, Threesome - M/M/M, Touch Starved Character (s), affectionate character(s), akira spends more time with goro than in canon, angsty fluff, cuddling galore, each couple has their moments (of angst), insecure ryuji, lots and lots of cuddling, not just focused on the threesome
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-01
Updated: 2018-06-01
Packaged: 2019-05-04 03:08:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,711
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14583630
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Adeadlymusician/pseuds/Adeadlymusician
Summary: “I feel bad, about everything, too. I don’t know how I would have reacted if I found out my dad’s a rich dick that left me and my mom to suffer,” Ryuji stated, sighing. “I understand that he feels guilty and terrible ‘n all, but I wish he would just open up some, ya know? Even now, he still sometimes goes behind that goddamn mask."“I understand how you feel. Give him time: he has had a lot to process recently. But I don’t think we should share our feelings- not yet, at least,” Akira said, twirling a lock of hair. “Like I said, It’s even hard for me to get through to him. Making an advance right now is only going to turn out bad. For all of us.”Oh Akira. Ryuji is not the one who you should be giving the warning to.





	Privado de Afecto

**Author's Note:**

> This is by far the longest fic I have published to date. I tried to not make it repetitive, but I can't blame you if you see it that way. 
> 
> On a side note, Happy Birthday Akechi Goro!

**Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength while loving someone deeply gives you courage.** **  
**

The moonlight shone dimly through the dirty window of Leblanc’s attic. Akira sat at his desk, messing with some infiltration tools. It would be a bit more before the Phantom Thieves of Heart would take on Shido Masayoshi, so he had some time to prepare for their last target. More importantly, the Phantom Thieves had some time to relax and heal. A quiet gasp drew Akira’s attention away from the Goho-M. He twisted his head around to his bed, his heart lurching at the sight. Ryuji was gazing lazily at Goro’s sleeping form with so much open adoration and love that it made him breathless. Ryuji started tracing light, small circles on the brunette’s chest, his face flushed with joy. The black-haired boy’s smile softened as he watched Ryuji’s eyes melt with pure affection. Akira was glad Goro didn't truly mind physical affection; Ryuji was never the best with words, after all, and preferred to use touch to convey his feelings.

The blonde’s glance eventually met Akira’s, a soft smile gracing his features. Akira beamed and set the tool down, walking over to the bed. He sat down on the edge, watching as Ryuji moved his hands to run them through Goro’s hair, massaging the older boy’s head. Goro groaned softly but did not wake up. Akira's hand joined Ryuji’s, softly (and skillfully) rubbing circles into Goro’s scalp. Goro shifted slightly, leaning into the touch. Akira’s eyes twinkled with elation as Ryuji brought his other hand to their sleeping beloved’s face, rubbing his cheek. The new sensations, over time, roused Goro from his nap, who opened an eye lethargically.

“Hmm? What….” Goro starts, but the faux blonde hushed him with a mellow, chaste kiss.

“You’re adorable,” Ryuji whispered, rubbing his cheek. The older boy huffed and stretched out slightly, relaxing immediately after.

“Mhm. Don’t worry, love. We aren't going to try anything,” Akira said, his voice drenched with emotion. He contemplated for a minute before saying, “Can you turn over for us? On your stomach?”

“Not going to try anything, my ass…” Goro murmured, but obeyed. The blonde sat up and sat on the brunette’s thighs. Ryuji's hands descended upon his lower back, skillfully rubbing the tension out of his muscles. Akira's hands focused on his neck and shoulders, lightly tracing the shape of his shoulder blades. Goro groaned at the familiar motions, sinking into the bed further. Ever since that time in Mementos, he had craved any physical affection that he could receive from his (now) two lovers. Ryuji moved to his sides, grazing his rough fingertips up and down. Akira relentlessly worked out the knots in his shoulders. Goro finally melted, completely lax. The other two smiled, satisfied, and settled with just tracing random shapes on his back, their fingers ghosting over the surface of his skin.

Goro shivered and pressed his face further into the pillow. This felt… nice. Comfortable. Secure. After being starved of touch for so long, he had taken any affection in whatever form that he could receive. At first, it had been the politized handshakes and purposeful pats on the shoulder. Now, it was… well. Goro didn’t know how to describe it. Ryuji had caught on first, even before they had gotten together. The blonde never hesitated to engulf him in a hug after a long run or rub his shoulder reassuringly after a heist. To Goro, he seemed like the type of person who doesn't pay attention to his surroundings, yet was extremely perceptive when it comes to people. Akira was equally as knowing, always the leader and the one to keep an eye on his loved ones. They caught on quickly, and both of them never ceased to _stop touching him_. A hand on a shoulder. Fingers in hair. Lips on lips.

He appreciated the gestures from both of them, especially Ryuji, whom he thought would be the most hesitant of his addition: the brunette was the third and newest member. He had expected Ryuji to be possessive or even protective of Akira, but he never was; In fact, it seems that Goro was the one that both of his boyfriends hovered over constantly, which never failed to confuse him. Goro had held some reservations about this unconventional relationship - especially considering the past between them - but it seems his fears were unfounded, something the two never failed to remind him of daily.

“Goro?” Ryuji asked softly. Goro picked his face up slightly.

“Yes?” He asked, even though he already knew what Ryuji wanted. Ryuji was a lot of things, but secretive was not one of them.

“Can I, uh, sleep with you?” He asked before sputtering. “Wait! That came out wrong.”

Goro chuckled lightly before pulling the blonde closer. He turned himself on his side to where he could bury his face into the blonde’s neck. Goro inhaled deeply, breathing in a scent that was so _Ryuji:_ his face was flushed violently. Ryuji shivered.

Akira smiled softly and walked back to the desk, grabbing some more material in the process.

 _“Honey~”_ Goro called, his voice pitched up. Ryuji snorted loudly.

“Yes?” Akira asked, amused.

“Come to bed. You can work later,” He said. Akira sighed but complied.

He laid behind Goro, his nose making its way into the mop of brown hair. Another set of arms snaked its way around Goro’s torso, gently holding him. The body heat generated by his lovers warmed him to his very bones. Goro sighed into Ryuji.

“Love you idiots…” Goro mumbled, his speech muffled further by Ryuji's neck. Akira's breath hitched.

“Did…?” Akira asked, his voice piercing the air with blatant vulnerability. It hurt Goro a little to think that his previous actions still had such a profound effect on the black haired boy.

“He did,” Ryuji replied, his voice filled with a warmth that Goro could get used to hearing. Goro huffed, pretending to be annoyed despite the upward turn on the corners of his mouth.

“I said that I love you both, even if you are insufferable,” Goro said, his eyes dropping with exhaustion and slight embarrassment. Before he succumbed, he murmured,

“Goodnight….”

“G’night, loves,” Ryuji murmured, burrowing his face into the brown mass as sleep overtook him.

“Goodnight,” Akira mumbled at last, his face flushed as sleep captured him, too. The scene of the three cuddling the night away was the sight Morgana returned to see, and he couldn't help but smile to himself. The cat settled by their heads and curled up, casting a watchful and protective glance over them. They all had been through a lot, and it was his job to make sure they were happy. He could feel it in his very soul.

 

* * *

 

_Previously…_

Ryuji had noticed it first when Goro first appeared in the Sae's Palace with them: Akira’s blatant and hungry stare was hard to mistake for anything else. It had been concerning at first: Ryuji was a possessive person by nature and the possibility of Akira leaving him for _Goro_ of all people made him very angry. He knew that it was his insecurity speaking; If Akira really wanted to leave him, Ryuji would let him go, albeit reluctantly. 

However, after having Akira speak of Goro and how he thought the brunette was suffering just as they were, Ryuji started to think. It wasn’t something he did often, but Akira’s words had intrigued him. So, he watched.

Ryuji had always been passively concerned about the brunette. He had seen the tell-tale signs of abuse in Goro after a couple of runs through Mementos; he once had shown those signs himself. However, it never really bothered him until then. Goro had always purposefully kept himself aloof whenever any of the Thieves spoke to him. No one could get through to him except Akira. Goro’s behavior wouldn’t have been such a red flag if Goro hadn’t looked so free and happy when he fought shadows, always exclaiming random comments without any hesitation.

This concern, damn his selfless nature, made him pay close attention to the brunette whenever they met up. Ryuji noticed the slight tension whenever someone touched Goro unexpectedly; he also saw the masked joy on the brunette's face when he got a hug. He noticed the flick of his wrist when he was annoyed, and the drumming of his hands when he was happy. Goro frequently hid his smiles when he could, but when he choose to show them, the environment around him became brighter and lighter. Goro's laugh, his genuine laugh, was a rare treat, and Ryuji found himself doing almost anything to get it out of the older boy. Goro tapped his foot when he was impatient, and jumped up heroically whenever he defeated a shadow. Although Ryuji knew that there was something off about Goro, he couldn’t help but feel something for the brunette. Over time, the feelings grew and before long, Ryuji found himself falling in love with the older boy. He also started to notice Goro's figure, as well.

“You like him too?” Akira asked when Ryuji approached him with the topic. It was an odd day for the Phantom Thieves: they were taking a day off after Goro had confessed to being the Black Mask.

“Yeah. I thought 'bout it a lot, man. He's… well… he's just Ak- Goro, ya know?”

Just Goro indeed. Akira didn't know how to explain it to Ryuji. He loved Ryuji so much, but Goro had made his way into Akira's heart unknowingly. It didn't help that the detective had a terrible past (from the little that he had revealed, anyway), and Akira was well known to pick up and take care of strays (hell, just look at Morgana). Falling in love was another story altogether, but Goro made him happy. He adored the look on Goro’s face when they would go cycling, and the embarrassing moment as Goro laughed at him when he failed at bouldering was a fond memory he liked to look back on. He loved their debates and he loved annoying the detective, especially when he managed to get a rise out of the older boy. He loved Ryuji for different reasons: Ryuji was unapologetically rash and forthcoming with his emotions, a foil to Goro. Ryuji wasn't afraid to push him around and wasn't afraid to be himself. Ryuji’s antics made him smile and warmed his heart, even when he had flashbacks of the interrogation.

“What are we going to do about him, though? He’s already so closed off. I don't wanna scare him away. Not to mention I don't know how… these work...” Ryuji replied, making wild hand gestures. If they both liked Goro, it wasn’t an issue between them. But both of them had the tendency to fall hard, and rejection would be extremely hard to process, even with the support of their family. Akira thought for a moment, before shaking his head.

“You’re right about that. I’ve tried to get through to him, but his past still weighs him down….” Akira trailed off, uncertain of what else to say. “I don't know about this, either. But I'm willing to try.”

“I feel bad, about everything, too. I don’t know how I would have reacted if I found out my dad’s a rich dick that left me and my mom to suffer,” Ryuji stated, sighing. “I understand that he feels guilty and terrible ‘n all, but I wish he would just open up some, ya know? Even now, he still sometimes goes behind that goddamn mask.”

“I understand how you feel. Give him time: he has had a lot to process recently. But I don’t think we should share our feelings- not yet, at least,” Akira said, twirling a lock of hair. “Like I said, It’s even hard for me to get through to him. Making an advance right now is only going to turn out bad. For all of us.”

“I get it,” Ryuji replied, his voice cracking. “But I don’t want him to get away. I don't think I could take it, man. Not after the things he told us. He's just so… touch starved, ya know? It's hard to watch. And I … I _love_ him so much. It hurts.”

“I know,” Akira admitted, grabbing Ryuji’s hand, squeezing comfortingly. “I know.”

“...Maybe we could suggest a gang bang?” The blonde suggested half-heartedly. Akira laughed loudly, the sound echoing. Although the tension in the room decreased somewhat, a somber yet comfortable silence fell between the pair. Akira tried to think of solutions to their problem but he could not come up with one. Being too forward would scare him away. Too obscure, and the brunette probably wouldn't notice (or acknowledge it). A ‘ding’ emitted from Akira’s phone. He awkwardly opened his phone with his left hand.

> **Futuba™** : hey, stop being dumb.
> 
> **Me** : ???
> 
> **Futuba™** : Ur both obvs in love. So Im gonna help.
> 
> **Me** : Stay out of this, Futaba. We can deal with this ourselves.
> 
> **Futuba™** : Ha ha. Ofc u’ll deal with it. By pining over each other while the rest of us watch. Both of u r pitiful.
> 
> **Me** : Futaba….
> 
> **Futuba™** : Nothing drastic. Thieves’ honor!

“Who’s that?” Ryuji asked. Akira shook his head, setting his phone down. He rubbed the bridge of his nose in annoyance.

> **Futuba™** : i saw that

“Futaba. Apparently, she’s going to help us with Goro,” Akira sighed. Ryuji groaned.

“Oh no,” Ryuji replied. Akira nodded solemnly. “What is she going to do?!”

“She said 'nothing drastic’, but I have my doubts,” Akira replied. Ryuji only sighed in frustration.

> **Futuba™** : wait, i have an idea. U 2 will love it!

* * *

 

The not 'drastic’ plan came into fruition a couple of days later. The female members of their team had gone ahead in Mementos, saying that they were ‘seeing firsthand how Queen lead the team without Joker’s influence.’ When questioned, they said it was to prepare for when ‘Joker would go into hiding’ after the conclusion of Sae’s palace. When they asked why only the female members would go, they said they had ‘girl stuff’ to talk about that ‘boys wouldn’t understand’. No one bought their excuses, but no one wanted to argue with any of them. As a result, the male members sans Morgana stayed behind at the entrance.

“I'm calling bullshit,” Skull murmured. “ _Girl stuff,_ my ass. Mona went with them. It's not fair!”

 "I wouldn’t argue with them, if I were you,” Joker replied, melting under his boyfriend’s touch. Maybe this plan would work. “I’m terrified of them.”

 “Yeah… especially Queen,” Skull replied, the nerves in his fingertips tingling pleasantly.

 “What on Earth are you doing, Skull?” Crow asked, leaning against the wall of Mementos. He sighed in annoyance. Why they even needed to be here…? Joker lifted his face from Skull’s lap and flashed a smirk, his body fully relaxed.

“Makin him relax. What else?” Skull replied, gently pushing Joker’s head back down. A low rumble emanated from Joker, whom somehow sunk further into Skull’s crossed legs.

“You’re just trailing your fingers over his body. I fail to see how that helps him relax,” Crow replied, puzzled. Skull laughed and brought his hands up. Joker whined at the loss of contact, leaning closer to Skull’s torso. A small yet visible spark appeared at the ends of Skull’s fingers. Crow raised an eyebrow.

“You’re shocking him?” Crow guessed. “I didn't know you were into that. Nor did I want to.”

“I’s not like that, promise,” Skull replied, putting his hands back on Joker. “It relaxes your body.”

“Huh,” Crow stated in disbelief. “I guess if it makes you happy…”

“Don't knock it if ya haven’t tried it,” Skull replied, locking eyes with Joker. Joker nodded: It was time to act. The trickster sat up willingly, ignoring the urge to whine at the loss of pleasure. He patted Skull’s lap.

“Go ahead,” Joker encouraged. Crow stared, unmoving.

“I’m good. Thanks for the offer,” Crow replied, forcing himself to remain still. The idea was tempting, truth be told. This wasn’t the first time the duo had done something like this: Fox’s numerous sketches of them relaxing in safe rooms were proof enough. But, he didn’t deserve to unwind, especially at the hands of the people he literally just almost betrayed. That wasn’t even considering the embarrassing fact that he lapped at any physical contact he could get. That was one secret he didn’t want anyone knowing, especially a certain blonde who was known to be unable to keep silent. He swallowed heavily, hoping the other two wouldn’t notice.

“Crow… it’s okay. For real,” Skull said. “Come ‘ere.”

“I already told you. I’m-”

“No, you’re not. Stop lying. You’re tryin to stop yourself from moving, I can tell. Just get over here already!” Skull exclaimed, irritation seeping into his voice. Crow sighed with resignation. He wasn't going to be able to resist for much longer: he would seem like an asshole. Yet… so many things could go wrong.

“Skull, I-” He protested, his voice weaker than he anticipated.

“Crow. It’s fine. Stop denying yourself the things you want,” Joker commanded, his eyes flashing with… something unrecognizable. Crow huffed but relented. There was no arguing with Joker when he wanted something. Nevermind Crow’s own curiosity. He walked over to Skull and sat down adjacent to him and the wall, unsure of himself. Skull patted his lap.

“Come on. Lay down,” Skull requested, his voice gentle. Crow hesitated, but eventually laid on his side, his back facing Skull. Skull’s fingers trailed down his right arm, the feeling muffled slightly through the fabric of his outfit. His muscles were tense with anticipation: He was expecting pain. He did not expect the pleasant sensation that coursed through his veins. He groaned, his body relaxing involuntarily. Joker took the brown haired boy’s mask off, setting it in his lap. Crow could feel their leader’s gaze on him: the bastard was probably smirking, too. He felt a second set of hands - said bastard’s - that turned him on his stomach, his head falling on Skull’s left thigh.

Skull’s fingertips traced the muscles of his neck, leaving sparks of pleasure that built in his core. Crow stretched out, his torso and legs relaxing and becoming dead weight. He felt the steady beat of his heart dance in his veins. Skull seemed to zone in on a spot near his shoulder blades. Crow mewled, falling into a daze. He leaned into the touch, much to his chagrin.

“Jeez… when was the last time someone… I dunno... touched you?” Skull asked, more in disbelief than in curiosity. He knew it was bad, but not this bad.

The blood in Crow’s veins ran cold. Damn. Crow didn't reply, shifting slightly, only vaguely noticing the feelings of shame that settled within his stomach. His senses were dulled somewhat; The only thing he could sense clearly was Skull’s touch. The repetition of the ministrations lulled Crow back into a daze. He told himself that he couldn't help it: the touch was extremely pleasant and hypnotic, all things considered. He could feel Skull shift slightly to better bear his body weight. A sudden thought occurred to him.

“I’m not bothering your leg, am I…?” He whispered, his eyes fluttering open. Joker’s hands lifted the older boy’s legs up, letting them rest on his lap next to his mask: Joker’s hands rested on the back of his thighs, rubbing small circles.

“Nah, you’re good,” Skull replied, his smile infecting his voice.

“Alright…” Crow trailed off, his eyes closing again. Skull placed his palms flat against Crow’s back. Crow groaned loudly at the overwhelming sensations. The only thought that passed through his mind was that he felt _safe_. He didn’t recall ever feeling this way ever before. Unbeknownst to him, his form changed from Robin Hood’s to Loki’s. The sudden shift shocked Skull: Joker also looked surprised. The sudden absence of the tingling pleasure caught Crow off guard. Was something wrong? When no shadows appeared, anxiety bubbled within his chest; He gasped out loud when he realized his eyesight was obscured with his helmet. Shit! He had let his guard down, hadn’t he?

“Err…” He said, breaking through the tense air. He knew this was a bad idea; He shouldn’t have agreed to this in the first place. He moved his hands to pick himself up, but Skull held him and down and prevented him from moving.

“You’re fine. Ya just startled me a little, that’s all,” Skull mumbled, resuming his ministrations. Joker’s hands moved to his calves, forcing him to relax. The anxiety rose within Crow, who felt extremely vulnerable in his current state. Wind seemed to rush past his ears, dulling his sense of sound. The electricity flowing through his body only put him on edge. The other two didn’t fail to notice this.

“Crow,” Joker said, his voice soft as his fingers grabbed Crow’s calves lightly. “You’re fine. We aren’t angry or disapproving, just surprised. I promise.”

“But…” Crow protested weakly, his voice heavy with emotion.

“Goro. You’re good.” Skull commanded. “Please... “

“I… alright,” Crow relented, the use of his given name snapping him out of his previous lines of thought. His skin was trembling with anticipation. Skull’s hands found its way to his helmet. The blonde gently curled his fingers under the edges.

“Is it okay if I…?” Skull trailed off, the rest of the question going unspoken.

“Yes,” Crow replied, the anxiety returning somewhat. Skull slowly pulled the helmet off, careful to avoid injuring Crow. He set it off to his side. Skull took this opportunity to bury his hands in Crow’s hair, electricity flowing through his fingers. Crow sighed, his consciousness fading slightly. He was already so tired, and the adrenaline high from pleasure and anxiety was wearing off, leaving a satisfying exhaustion in its wake. He tried to keep himself awake, but Skull’s touch was gentle and... _warm_. He drifted out of consciousness, relaxed and content. He started snoring softly, much to the surprise of Skull and Joker.

“Wow…” Joker said, gazing at Crow with longing. “He's already asleep.”

“Yeah…” Skull said, his eyes swirling with emotion and his chest aching. “Yeah, he is.”

The trio sat in a comfortable silence, waiting for the group to get back. Skull kept touching him, but it was less precise and more random. He hadn’t expected Crow to change outfits like that, but wasn’t that a good thing? That he trusted the two of them enough to let his guard down? But… Crow was obviously surprised at the change. Was it unintentional? That would explain why he panicked. So… did he not trust them after all?

Joker shook his shoulders. Skull looked up at him. The black haired boy gestured at the brunette. The dead weight of Crow’s body was starting to create a blanket of warmth. From this angle, Skull could see the tired look on Crow’s sleeping face, and he was pretty sure Joker could too.

“He trusts you,” Joker said as if reading his mind.

“Are you sure?” Skull replied, turning to look at the black mask. Joker nodded. The trio didn’t have to wait much longer before the group came back. Queen motioned for the boys to join them. Skull and Joker pointedly ignored Oracle's crackling.

“Hey…” Joker’s voice called. When he didn't respond, Skull gently shook Crow’s shoulders. He grunted and cracked his eyes open.

“Huh…?” He asked, his voice laced with drowsiness and slight confusion at the glaring red of Mementos. Why was he here…..? The Phantom Thieves were here too….

“You look like you were out for a while. When was the last time you got sleep?” Mona asked. Crow’s mind was still hazy.

“I… don’t know,” He tentatively replied, propping himself up. He pushed himself to where he was sitting up. He couldn’t shake the fatigue that settled in his body: this was the first time he had gotten peaceful sleep in a long time. Perhaps in his entire life. His eyes fluttered shut against his wishes.

“Hey, why don’t you spend the night with me?” Skull asked, watching Joker’s approving nod. “I don’t think you’re gonna make it home safely, man.”

Crow didn’t have any energy to protest, not that he truly wanted to: He nodded and held out his hand. Skull took it without hesitation and pulled him up. Somehow, the group of teens stumbled out of Mementos without falling down. Ryuji’s hand was firm on his forearm as he dragged Goro onto the train. Goro fell asleep on his shoulder, which warmed Ryuji’s heart. Once they reached their stop, Ryuji reluctantly woke Goro again and pulled him up. The two stumbled the rest of the way to Ryuji’s house. The blonde opened the door quietly: He didn’t want his mother to wake up. Somehow, Ryuji got both his and Goro’s shoes off without incident. He guided a sleepy Goro towards his room, careful to avoid any walls or obstacles.

Goro all but collapsed on his bed. Ryuji pulled the sheets out from under him and covered him up, watching as his companion snuggled into the bed. Ryuji smiled.

“Goro?” He asked hesitantly. He didn't have express permission to use his companion’s given name, but he figured it would be okay after earlier.

“Yes?” the older boy asked, cracking an eye open.

“If you want to do that again, don't be afraid to ask,” Ryuji replied, standing up. He didn’t want to push his luck too much; the couch in the living room was comfortable enough. A hand gripped his arm lightly.

“Stay.” Goro commanded softly, his eye fluttering shut. Ryuji’s heart lurched but he crawled into bed with him. He wrapped his arms around his companion’s chest, pulling him closer. Ryuji could feel the exhaustion catching up to him. But, he found that he didn’t want to fall asleep. Goro’s steady breath against his chest warmed his heart and the sight before him was almost too much. He vaguely felt guilty at tearing this sight away from Akira, but he discarded the thought immediately. For one, Akira’s bed was really small (they both knew from personal experience). Secondly, if the two played their cards right, they both could have him.

“I hope I’m not seeing things wrong,” He said softly into Goro’s hair, his eyes shutting against his will. “I don't think we could take you hating us…”

 

* * *

 

“Are you okay?” Akira inquired quietly, watching Goro take a sip of his coffee. Goro sat his cup down, a look of pensive forlorn painting his face.

“Yes. I'm fine. Just a bit tired,” he replied, laughing afterward. Akira raised his eyebrows in response. Goro sighed. “Alright. I'm not okay. But why should I be?"

“Do you want to talk about it?” Akira asked after a small pause. “I don't mind.”

“I…” Goro replied, uncertain. He certainly wanted to talk with Akira over his past, but was it really okay to talk about himself when he had almost murdered him? Ah. Might as well get this over with. They would have to discuss this eventually. Better now, when they were alone, than when the rest of the Thieves were here. For the first time, at least.

“Yes? I promise that I won't yell,” Akira replied, his eyes soft with an emotion Goro couldn't name.

“...Sure. I guess we can talk,” Goro replied, standing up. “But I’d like a more private place, if you will…?”

“Yes. Of course,” Akira replied, taking off his apron. “Let's go upstairs.”

The duo made their way upstairs. The scene was very familiar: It wasn’t even six days ago that Goro had confessed to being the Black Mask and the person behind the mental shutdowns. The Phantom Thieves getting him to talk had been a miracle in and of itself; the detective had looked ready to bolt. Eventually, however, he confirmed some information: Yes, he was the Black Mask. Yes, he was the one using the Metaverse to cause mental shutdowns and psychotic breakdowns. He also gave them a name; Shido Masayoshi, his employer, his father. He also gave some vague details about his past: how he was beaten, starved, and forced into foster care. He had been given access to the Metaverse without a guide. The other Thieves, especially Haru and Futaba, had been wary and didn’t trust his motives, but Goro had assured them that he would tell the full story once he had time to collect his thoughts. It seems Goro was about to expand on said story. Goro sat on the bed, sinking into the mattress. Akira sat next to him, their thighs touching. 

“What do you want to talk about?” Akira inquired. Goro sighed.

“Everything, if you don't mind,” Goro replied cryptically.

“Everything being?” Akira prompted, having an idea of what Goro wanted to say but not wanting to assume.

“The… Black Mask,” Goro stated plainly, leaning back with a sigh. Akira nodded. Goro raised an eyebrow.

“That's all you're going to say?” Goro asked in disbelief. Akira shrugged.

“What do you want me to do? The Black Mask is a part of you whether I like it or not. And I would rather you be honest with me above all else. So… whenever you're ready.”

“... I guess I'll start from the beginning, then. I ...did mention this the other day but I'm a bastard child to none other than Shido Masayoshi. My mother was abandoned like the one night stand she was, even before the discovery of her pregnancy. And she _loathed_ being pregnant. I didn't learn until later, but her family had abandoned her, leaving her to the streets because she was such a disgrace in their eyes. She didn't want to give me up, not at first. She did _everything_ she could to keep us both alive. Thankfully, she managed to get a decent job and rent an apartment. She did everything she could, despite having a new, needy newborn.” Goro began, taking a shaky breath. He felt his self-control slip. “In the end, it wasn't enough. The pressure of being a single parent and the stigma associated with it got to her. She killed herself, leaving me to foster care. Foster care was… not great. I was…”

“Take your time. Only share what you feel comfortable sharing. There’s no rush,” Akira comforted, linking hands with Goro. He could feel the brunette's anxiety: the broken child was shaking madly.

“I was… starved. Beaten. Bullied. Manipulated. Name something horrifying, and it probably happened to me at some point. I was passed around from house to house, from abusers to apathetic and greedy bastards. My life was hell until I came across the Metaverse, where I awakened to Loki,” Goro said, looking down. Akira nodded reassuringly, rubbing his hands on the older boy’s knuckles. “From there, I used Mementos to start my search for my father, whom I knew was somebody important from what little I remembered of my mother. I gained strength and eventually found him. But he disgusted me, and I awakened to Robin Hood in response. I knew that I would have to take him down, for making my life a living hell. For abandoning my mother and I. For everything.”

Akira moved closer to Goro, pulling him towards his body. Goro didn't protest: it felt… warm. Loving. Accepting. He absorbed Akira's loving touches, knowing that he would regret it later. At the moment, however, he couldn't bring himself to care.

“I had the brilliant idea that I would manipulate him into my hands so that I could kill him right as he was about to enjoy a life of luxury. But of course, that was a foolish thought. As soon I revealed my powers, he got greedy. My first… kill, was Sakura-chan's mother, Isshiki Wakaba. I didn't know killing a person's shadow would kill them as well, but I was too far in to start worrying about morals. If I stopped…” Goro admitted, looking down in shame. “If I had stopped...“

“You would have been killed?” Akira guessed, pulling Goro closer. Goro nodded, shaking. He hadn't planned on sharing this much with the leader of the Phantom Thieves: it seems the rumors of Akira's tendency for getting others to spill their secrets was true.

“It, it went downhill from there. I…” Goro started, choking on a sob. Akira pulled the older boy into his lap, embracing him firmly. Goro hesitated but buried his face in the crook of Akira’s neck nonetheless. “I didn’t want to kill anyone else. Not after what happened to Ishiki-san. But, I couldn’t stop. Shido’s associates were, are everywhere. It wouldn’t matter if I had killed Shido or changed his heart: his henchmen would come after me without him to act a buffer. So, I kept going. I was so close, too. And then you all appeared and...”

“Threatened you. Because Shido saw us as an obstacle,” Akira stated, playing with Goro’s hair. Goro nodded, hiding his face away.

“Yes. Before long, I was tasked with killing you all. I didn’t want to, especially since I more or less already knew who you all were. But…” Goro trailed off, the words spilling out of his mouth before he had a chance to stop himself. “But I had to. So I swallowed my emotions and tried to stay to stop myself from getting more attached. I blackmailed my way onto your team. I tried to appear stupid and ignorant, but you all saw right through me. And then Sakura-chan bugged my phone, confirming your suspicions as to what my true… occupation was. Then, you all confronted me, where I tried to flee; you all planned for that too, of course. It seems like you plan for everything-”

“Slow down, Goro. I’m not going anywhere,” Akira whispered assuringly. “Don’t share things that you don’t feel ready to share.”

“No... I want to,” Goro sniffled before sobs overcame him again. While talking with Akira was helping, he could not deny that it hurt to talk about everything. Goro knew he had been stupid and naive, and having to say his emotions out loud left a bitter taste in his mouth. Goro peered up at the younger boy, who was smiling brightly. Goro’s eyes widened when he felt Akira’s lips upon his own. Unexpected feelings of happiness shot through him. He didn’t quite understand what his feelings were towards Akira were, but he was willing to find out. As he was about to deepen the kiss, a thought occurred to him. Wasn’t he dating Ryuji? What was Akira doing?!

“Thank you for being open with me,” Akira said, pulling away with a shy smile. Goro shot back, panicking. Akira frowned.

“What’s wrong?” Akira asked, eyebrows furrowing.

“You just kissed me…” Goro whispered, feeling shame settle in the bottom of his gut. Akira’s eyes widened in realization.

“Oh no…! Goro…! I…” Akira started, but Goro shook his head.

“I… I have to go. Thank you for listening to me,” Goro said, fleeing down the stairs. He grabbed his briefcase and left a tip for Sakura-san on the counter. His emotions were in limbo for another reason altogether.

Meanwhile, Akira stood motionless for a moment, his own thoughts racing. The black haired boy slowly trudged over to the table and grabbed his phone. He dialed Ryuji.

“Hey man, what’s up?” The blonde’s voice rang cheerfully. Tears started to spill down Akira’s face.

“Ryuji?” Akira asked, his voice choked off.

“Akira....? What’s wrong? Are you cryin?” Ryuji asked, alarmed. Akira took a shaky breath.

“I… I fucked up Ryuji. I swear I didn't mean to kiss him but he was so sad and remorseful and now he hates me oh god he hates me now Ryuji I'm so sorry-” Akira rambled, tears pooling at the edges of his eyes.

“Whoa whoa. Slow down. Who are you talking about?” Ryuji asked, his voice filled with anticipation.

“Goro. I messed up. For both of us,” Akira sobbed, bringing his knees to his chest. Ryuji exhaled shakily.

“It's okay, Akira. ‘M not angry. Do you want me to come over?”

“Yes, please.” He rasped.

 

* * *

 

 

“Why?” Goro questioned quietly, the timbre of his voice dying in the attic. Although the rain outside was anything but heavy, the sound seemed to thunder in his ears. The other two boys squirmed in their seats. Ryuji didn’t reply, scratching the back of his head. He looked at Akira for approval, which elicited a scoff from the detective.

“You're not helping your case here,” Goro replied tersely, the jarring familiarity of the mask settling on his face again. He vaguely wondered why he allowed himself to get into this situation. He had allowed himself to get too attached. How idiotic. “For all I know, this is some prank that one of the other Thieves put you up to.”

“They would never do that,” Akira replied quietly yet firmly. “I understand that you are confused and defensive, but don't bring them into this.”

“Why not? Is this not just a game to you all? Pretending to care for me? Getting close to me now only then to betray me sometime in the future?” Goro laughed humorlessly. “For all I know, you two only want me because I'm another pretty face. Just like everyone else.”

“No! It's not about your looks! We like you for your personality! We both love you so much. So much that it almost broke us up. We didn't want it to feel like we were betraying each other, so we talked it out! It hurts! We know you've been through a lot, so we didn't want to pressure you into anything! Akira just wanted to comfort you! You didn't have to storm out makin him think you hate him!” Ryuji yelled, his thoughts and words jumbled as tears finally started spilling down his cheeks. “Just… God dammit. We’re sorry man, okay?!”

Ryuji couldn't hold them back anymore: gross sobs burst out of his chest with fever down. Goro’s heart clenched violently, knocking the breath out of him. Thunder roared outside. Akira wrapped an arm around Ryuji, pulling him close. Ryuji tucked his face into Akira’s chest.

“Are you happy?” Akira asked Goro, his voice deathly quiet. “Because I'm not. If you don't like us, just reject us and let us move on. Don't draw this out. Please.”

Goro remained pensive. He felt immensely guilty for his actions and the sobbing boy in front of him. But… did he like them? He thought back when he had confided to Akira about his past and the joy he felt at Akira’s accidental kiss. He remembered their inquisitive discussions in LeBlanc. He remembered their light-hearted conversations when they met in public briefly. He remembered how he loved to make Akira give him that special smile that he reserved only for a few people... Perhaps he did like Akira, after all. 

But did he like Ryuji?  He did admire the blonde's infectious enthusiasm and lack of fear, but was that enough to harbor romantic feelings? He knew that Ryuji’s gaze sometimes went to him, but he thought nothing of it since Ryuji and Akira were an item. The electrifying touch in Mementos, no pun intended, made him feel relaxed and protected. He had felt… content, wanted, loved, in a way that no one else, except maybe Akira in the very beginning, had. Not Sae. Not Boss. Not anyone except them. Them. Huh. A sudden thought entered his mind.

_“I hope I’m not seeing things wrong,” Ryuji had said softly into Goro’s hair. “I don't think we could take you hating us…”_

_We_? Was this what Ryuji had meant? That they were both interested in him but they didn’t want to make him feel pressured? Goro gave explicit permission to Ryuji to allow him to give friendly touches, a luxury only Akira shared. Despite the mask he put on, the blonde was also much like himself: touch starved. He had thought nothing of the casual touches that Ryuji never seemed to give anyone. Sure, he gave hugs to the other members of the Thieves and pats on the back, but he only seemed to stay close, proximity-wise, to himself and Akira.

Moreover, hadn't he asked Ryuji to stay in the bed with him that night? Ryuji had accepted, despite being in a relationship with Akira. Despite knowing he could have hurt Akira. There was no doubt, now, that the blonde was in love with him. And Goro couldn’t say that he couldn’t return the feelings. He didn’t know why, but he just _knew._ He was such an asshole. Was it already too late?

“No,” Robin Hood’s voice echoed in his head. Goro was taken aback by the encouragement in his persona’s voice. Goro looked up and stared at Akira, whose eyes were guarded and cold. He mentally wilted.

“Ryuji…” Goro whispered, standing up. Akira shifted his arm away from Goro, shielding his boyfriend, eyes ablaze. Ryuji looked up, his eyes puffy and red. Guilt stabbed him in the gut. Why did he have to be such a terrible person? Why did he think any of this was fake? Loki hummed in agreement. Goro held out a tentative hand, blood pounding in his ears, hoping that Ryuji would accept it. Ryuji stared at it for a moment, wary, before launching himself in Goro’s arms, his nose bumping painfully against the brunette's shoulder. Goro wasted no time and wrapped his arms around Ryuji, exhaling deeply in the blonde’s hair. He closed his eyes, letting the faux blonde in his arms cry. It was only fair, after everything he had done.

“I'm sorry,” Goro began softly. “I'm not used to people wanting me without strings attached. I have tried to accept… affection and trust, but it has taken some time. It… wasn't fair of me to project my anxieties in such a crass way. On either of you. I'm sorry…”

Goro opened his eyes and locked eyes with Akira. His eyes shone with unshed tears, a mournfully hurt look on his face. Goro’s eyes softened even more. Why did he have to be so cruel to two of the most loving people he had ever met? He surged forward, careful to avoid injuring Ryuji, and did his best to envelope Akira in a hug. Akira froze up before adjusting around Ryuji to comfortably pin the blonde in between them. He grasped Goro’s shoulder tightly, laying his forehead on the back of Ryuji's head.

“You hurt me, Goro,” Akira admitted softly into Ryuji's hair, taking a shaky breath. “You hurt me a lot.”

“I know,” Goro whispered, voice cracking as tears raced down his face at last. “I know I hurt you a lot. Again. I know my words don’t mean much, so I’ll do what I have to do in order to show you that my intentions are sincere. To show you both how much you mean to me. I don't deserve either of you…”

A soft hand - Akira’s - rubbed his cheek. Ryuji's arms tightened around his waist.

“Let us decide for ourselves what we deserve or don't deserve, okay?” Akira replied, his voice breathy.

“We want you,” Ryuji said, his voice hoarse.

“I know. And I accept you both, if you'll let me in,” Goro murmured, his eyes downcast. Akira hesitated before placing his lips on Goro’s forehead. The three remained there for a time, the soft sound of the rain calming their spirits. Ryuji’s breathing eventually evened out, and Akira’s face eventually softened.

“Stay the night?” The black haired boy inquired shyly. Goro nodded, allowing the other two to pull away. Ryuji’s eyes were bloodshot and swollen, but he was smiling. The trio headed upstairs, sitting on the bed. Akira sat behind the older boy while Ryuji sat in Goro's lap, trapping the brunette between them.

“So…” Goro began, feeling slightly out of place. They needed to talk about this and define things before they wound up in a situation like earlier.

“You like us both, yeah?” Ryuji prompted. Goro raised an eyebrow at the redundant question but relented.

“Yes, I do,” He confirmed. He wasn't going to back down now. Loki growled approvingly.

“Then, do you want to join us? As a third member? You'll be dating both of us,” Akira asked.

“Of course,” Goro stated firmly. “Polyamory, correct? I’m afraid that I am unaccustomed to these types of relationships…”

“Dude, we all are,” Ryuji said, his forehead hitting Goro’s chest. “Don't overthink things, kay?”

“I… Alright,” Goro replied, leaning back. He let his head fall back. Akira hugged tighter, placing his lips firmly on Goro's exposed neck. The brunette shivered.

“‘M tired,” the blonde mumbled. Akira hummed in agreement, sending shocks of pleasure down Goro’s spine.

“Let's go to bed, then,” Goro said. Ryuji chuckled.

“We're going to have a tough time fitting all three of us,” the blonde said, gesturing at the small size of the mattress.

“We'll make it work,” Akira said, laying down on his back. Goro got up and motioned for Ryuji to lay down. The blonde laid down next to Akira, getting as close as physically possible. Very little room was left for Goro.

“Uhh…”

“Would it be okay if I draped myself over the both of you?” Goro asked, taking his jacket off. He set it on the back of the chair to the desk.

“You sure that'll be comfortable?” Ryuji asked. Goro nodded.

“I'm more worried about your comfort. It will be relatively easy for me to adjust,” Goro stated. Akira nodded. Goro sat down on his knees on the edge of the bed, carefully climbing over Ryuji. He slowly laid his body down on his lovers (wow, what a title), letting his torso and legs rest on Ryuji. He rested his head on Akira’s chest. He relaxed his arms, snaking his right hand into Ryuji’s hair. Akira grabbed his left hand, pulling it up slightly. Was it the most natural position in the world? No. But it was comfortable enough for the three of them. And if it gave all three of them photos to save on their phone because of Futaba? Well… then it made the minimal discomfort all the more worth it.

**Author's Note:**

> Am I sorry for the number of electric puns? Nope. I swear, I had to come up with like 5000 different terms to call these three idiots. Having three masculine pronouns is hard to work around XD This is technically an AU where Akira reaches out more to Goro. How much more is entirely up to you and how much you think would be realistic! As for what Goro felt in the third section? You know that feeling right after you have a massage? The pleasing, tingling feeling? It's that, just amplified. Not really sure how demisexuality works (I am a sex-repulsed asexual lol) so I just kinda guessed. Sorry if I got it wrong XD
> 
> Privado de Afecto translates from Spanish to English as "Deprived/Starved of Affection." I checked with three (machine) translators and two very intelligent native Spanish speakers (one from Spain and the other from Colombia). Just in case though-
> 
> Privar- to deprive/starve  
> de- of  
> Afecto- affection


End file.
